Saturday, February 28, 2009

Huh? What? Where am I?

I have been accepted into graduate school at Portland State, specifically, the Graduate Teacher Education Program. When I am done, I will be certifiable..LOL! Sorry, could not resist. I will be a certified teacher of English to grades 7-12 and I will have a Masters in Education. I will be graduating Magna cum laude assuming I can maintain my GPA this term and next. I have worked, read, studied, written a billion papers on topics I didn't even understand and I find myself closing in on the end of it all. What will happen to me? What if I hate teaching? What if I decide teenagers are hell spawn? What if I just can't hack it? So many questions. I thought I would feel a sense of pride at what I have done, not to say I haven't, but I find that my doubts are crowding me and overwhelming my accomplishments.

I have not been healthy this term, as nearly everybody knows. Random things are keeping me down and the frustration is giving me anxiety attacks in addition to all my other problems. I think once we figure things out with my body, that I will be able to focus on the good. I wake up everyday saying today will be different, today I will need no pain meds, no anti-dizzy pills, and I won't be so tired that I can barely hold my head up. Each day I disappoint myself.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I have nothing to say here

The last post implies something that isn't quite true...yet. I am having some issues, mentally and physically and one may be causing the other. I am longing to make some art and I can barely find the time to do my homework, let alone my art. Yet these are the times I most need to set that time away for myself. I am loaded on Vicoden (sp) right now, so pardon the random rambling. I don't even have any new pictures to post, but because this is my art blog, I will post some older things that seem to belong in this particular post at this particular time.