A little bit of fun....

My newest journal entry...



Me having tea at a Tillamook tea house!

I was able to take some adorable pics of Sydney.....the great thing about her is that wonderful smile, everytime I see it I can't help but smile, too.

I hate waiting...an ode to Murakami

So the newest Murakami book hit bookstores in Japan yesterday, 1Q84. Its release is surrounded in mystery, we know nothing about the plot....we know the book is almost 1000 pages long and we have no clue when the English translation will be released. Having just discovered Murakami a few months ago, I have to say I am still as hardcore a fan as I can be, considering I have only read one of his books. But....I do have the "Wind-Up Bird Chronicle" on my shelf just waiting for me to finish that tome 2666 by Roberto Bolano. I ask myself why I am soo impatient for the new Murakami book, it isn't like I don't have the new Wally Lamb book to read, too. I just want to have 1Q84 in my paws, I want to own it, so that when I finish what needs to be finished, I can pick it up. Its that simple. I am pretty sure I will have read most of his books by the end of the year, I adored "Kafka on the Shore" and I want more more more! :)

Update.....

I have created yet another new blog... http://vortexofpoetry.blogspot.com/

So things are looking up...I will be graduating magna cum laude...not summa as I had hoped because I got a stinkin B in Pscho 311 and a few A-'s. Sheesh. I do care that I graduate.....truly...and I am all butt hurt that I am not graduating summa cum laude. Yes...I know...poor Brandi, right? If you knew the person I was when I scraped through high school back in the early 90's, you would understand why I am so desperate to prove myself. Plus, I love this school, my classes rock, except for Spanish cause I am a dork who can *get it*. Being an English major has been the highlight of my life. But being an English major with a 3 year old, chronic health issues, and utterly broke is hard to pull off, yet I keep trying to not only pull it off, but do it perfectly. I want to make sure all my homework is perfect as I can make it....staying up until 2am on a school night to make sure a 2 page response paper is flawless. Yes, I am a grade snob. I want to learn this stuff..I have to be able to teach it, right? Plus I love it and I want to prove to myself that I am a perfect student, to make up for those high school years of smoking behind the grotto across from GHS and skipping school to go hang out in the area above the stage. Anyway...for no particular reason...here is a pic I like...this is an art blog after all.....

Slow up, Speed down, rightside up and upside down

Chaos rules supreme in my world where I can no longer process things as they come to me, I pick and choose what to take in and deal with and the rest goes into the void surrounding me. I have found myself recovering from another surgery during spring break, addicted to pain pills, depressed, not caring if I even graduate (which is a month away), and eating pretty much everything in sight and then bitching about having put on weight. I am a walking contradiction or perhaps hypocrit is the better term-although I can't explain exactly why-it just feels right. I panic in my classes and have to leave in order to calm myself down. The cherry is that Shelby had a heart attack on the first of May. I was there with him in the hospital and he was fine, in pain, but not dramatic, chest-grasping pain. He is now off work for another month, we are poor and I am avoiding going to the hell that is the Oregon Department of Human Resources, I can't ask for help. We need it, but what I can't deal with is being a grown up and going in, filling out the paper work, sitting there for hours while oblivious mothers allow their children to hit mine, scream, and spill food everywhere. I am brain-fried after having come face to face with the possibility of loosing Shelby. It seems as if I am numb most of the time when I am around him-who am I to bombard him with more stress? I broke down in my Spanish class, left and went home to get my camera and took myself on a self-pity ride through the gorge. Most of the pics sucked, but I got a few good ones: