I have to do this again!?!

Well, after a super-fun day of bowel prep yesterday, it didn't *take*. So my colonoscopy with Dr. J has been rescheduled for Thursday. I am going in for a CT scan today though, hopefully this ubber-radiologist will spot what others have not. Dr. J requested this guy specifically. I am determined not to let this get me down, but it is getting harder and harder. I was in the ER again on Friday night and they talked about admitting me, but decided against it (thank GOD!). I can handle the pain but what I can't handle is the bills that keep rolling in.

I did some art journal work on Thursday and it was a good relase for me. I was able to get all that negative juju out and away from me to allow my body to heal. After 5 surgeries in 4 years, I am ready to call it quits and try a new route. I feel like things are getting worse, not better.

I still don't have a teaching placement,which at this point is good because I can keep my days open to work on healing, doc visits, tests, ect. Another part of me is anxious to get into a classroom, though. I want to be there learning and teaching and sharing with the students.

The best medicine is laughter and my daughter has been giving me a lot of giggles lately. She, at 3 1/2, is reading and sounding out words better than I could have expected and she is the happiest little thing and it is hard not to be joyful when she is so stinkin adorable! She kisses my stomach and tells me I am all better and when she looks at me with those big amazing eyes, I have to admit that she does make me feel better. :)

ER

Was there again last night, but on a positive note, the ER doc pushed the gastroenterologist to get me in ASAP, so I saw him today and I explained my rush. Not only am I in constant pain and trying to avoid another pain med addiction, but I may be called to my student teaching placment at any time. So he got me into do an endoscopy this Friday. My relaxing vacation has been anything but. However, I am utterly grateful that this is happening now as opposed to while classes are in session. There is always a bright side and I am trying to find it. :) Right now my daughter is singing to me and making me a birthday cake in her kitchen (it isn't my birthday). And that is just toooo cute and sweet for me not to be in a good mood. She keeps me sane and happy in spite of everything. It is funny that a 3 year old is my rock sometimes, but when you think about it, it is wonderful that my daughter feels needed. Everynight I tell her she makes my heart happy, and it is true. Ok, before you throw up, I will also mention that I have written the first chapter of my book. YAY!